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Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Pants on the Ground

Mike Lauterborn was pecking away at his computer
when into his line of vision wandered his 14-year-old son Evan, coming up from the family's basement
playroom. As usual and as is the style of teens these days, the top edge of his jeans were slumped down below his butt cheeks and his boxers-shrouded behind was fully out and on display.

"Evan, can you pull up your pants?!" the writer, seeing this, shrieked, his train of thought derailed.

"Sorry, I was laying on the couch and they slid down," he lamely explained.

"Well, before you come up here, pull up your pants!" the writer suggested.

"I can't stand up down there," the 6'4" Evan said with regard to the 6'2" high ceiling in that area. "So if I can't stand up, how can I pull up my pants?!"

"Pull them up before you stand up!" Lauterborn shrieked, his voice growing noticeably irritated.

"I can't!" the teen continued to defend.

"Don't you know you look like an idiot? Like you don't know any better? How can you even walk?" squawked Lauterborn. Then the writer hit upon an idea...

"You know what I'm going to do?" Lauterborn started. "I'm going to start wearing my pants the same way... so you can see what that looks like. I mean, if it's no big deal, then that's what I'm going to do. It might actually be very liberating." And with that, Lauterborn yanked his own pants down, took a peacock strut around the kitchen and, with pants at half mast (as in the photo posted here that he had his wife snap of him with his new "pants on the ground" look), returned to his typing on the computer.

"So that's going to be me every day from now on, OK? " threatened the writer.

Evan chuckled, hitched up his own pants a bit but, frankly, wasn't sure if his dad -- usually apt to do just about anything -- meant business or not as he returned to the depths of the house.

Time will tell. We'll see who blinks first.

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