God Bless Mary Thomas and Her Da's Soda Bread

Mike had hatched a grand plan for St. Pat's Day to make a fine meal for my family: Corned Beef with Red Currant Mustard Sauce, Chocolate Mint Brownies and a sidecar of Black & Tans (made with Guinness and Harp Lager naturally, and facilitated with his pouring spoon). But in the words of poet Robert Burns, "the best-laid plans of mice and men go oft awry." Such was the case with Mike's ambitious culinary endeavor and he suggested that the family head, instead, over to their local "pubbery", Archie Moore's. It was a sure bet they'd have a lively crowd and a good sampling of Irish cuisine. So decked in their assorted greens, Mike, his wife Marlene and their two boys Evan and Phillip strolled on over. Sure enough, every seat had a body parked in it and there was enough corned beef on hand to feed an army.

Unable to attract the busy barkeep's attention, the foursome stood to the side waiting for a table and passing time with Mike's old friend Bob McGuffey, with whom the boys and Mike had participated in a scouting program some number of years back.

Before long, they were settling into a corner spot and, anon, the first Guinness arrived. Ah, the roasted tones, WD-40 color and smooth-as-molasses finish... "heavenly," Mike cooed. He toasted his departed Irish grandmother for the second time that day... and, noticing a jolly-looking couple at the next table over, clinked glasses and exchanged happy wishes with them as well.

He also snapped a few silly photographs with his 10-megapixel digital camera. The specs of the camera are mentioned here only because its usage must have suggested to the adjacent couple that Mike was a competent photographer and, thus, they asked him to snap them with their disposable camera.

He agreed and clicked away, but then questioned whether the flash had gone off and the photo had actually been taken. To be sure the moment was securely captured, Mike suggested he take a photo with his own camera as well -- one that he could email to one of them.

The gesture was appreciated, Mike followed through successfully and Mary Thomas as she was called, a redheaded lass with a friendly demeanor, tweed cap and KISS ME I'M IRISH t-shirt, passed off her email via a napkin. Above and beyond simply thanking Mike though, she fetched a Guinness for him and a Harp for his wife.

Detecting a brogue, the writer asked if she hailed from Ireland and she confirmed she was from County Cavan, in the north. Mike mentioned that his ancestors were from County Cork, in the south on the sea -- "a bunch of crazy fisherman." Again he toasted his Nan, remarking to the couple that she was distantly related to wild west pioneer William "Buffalo Bill" Cody.

Mike also noted aloud a plan to hop over to our friends' the Ryan's house for more festivities after this dinner stop. Mary hoped we were on foot to which Mike assured her, "No worries. I have onboard GPS," then jokingly added, giving definition to the acronym,"Getting Pissed Shortly."

Their dinners arrived and, for Mike, that was Chicago-style Corned Beef. Priced to move, it included some hot peppers which gave zing to the beefy bulk. Mike wished he had soda bread to accompany it, so that he could enjoy the three major food groups simultaneously, the other two being Guinness and corned beef. To this, Mary dug deep in a carrying tote and produced a small, Christmas-themed red plastic tub -- containing none other than some fine quartered soda bread! To boot, it was her Da's concoction and had come over direct from Ireland.

Mike was flattered by the gesture and looked about for some butter to slather on the bread. Again, from the depths of her tote, Mary retrieved a solution -- another tub, but this one a Land 'o Lakes whipped butter container... and with it, a plastic knife. Even Mary's male friend, who had known Mary for some five years dating back to their time together in school, was impressed by her mobile pantry.

Mike thought her intention was to give him just a piece of bread from the tub, but she bestowed the whole container on him, with more than a dozen slivers inside. Mike felt he had to thank her with an embrace, so hug they did... then much scarfing of bread ensued.

As it happened, it was also Mary's birthday. Mike told her of a pin that he has that declares, "It's My Birthday," that he occasionally wears it out and that it never fails to garner a round. "I should try that sometime," she vowed. Mike felt that, with that insider tip, he had at least earned his round of Guinness.

Then with some final hugs, the two were off, leaving the family to cherish the brief but rewarding interaction.